The "Claim Your Happiness" candle giveaway

"Words are powerful; use them wisely." My teacher said that exact phrase to me many years ago, and it stuck. Words mean something - they carry energy - and when you speak or write them down, it's like a little birdie carries the sentiment right to the Universe's Great Door and says "this is what She wants" or "this is what He asked for." Unfortunately, we often write down or speak words that align more with what we don't want than what we do. I'll stop short of giving you a crash course in The Secret (which is based on quantum physics) but let's just say ... if you're talking or thinking all the time about what's not serving you, I'd recommend you stop. Like now. And forever. You attract what you focus on.

In that spirit, I've decided to create and offer a gift to you in celebration of my transition to San Francisco on January 11, and in honor of the fact that I know many of you are in transitional spaces as well. In those moments, fear can take over. I'll be honest - Fear has had me in her grips more than once lately. She released that grasp around my waist when I began to focus on love, on happiness, on the future, on my purpose and vision. I invite you to do the same. Speak it out loud. Write it down in the full moon light this weekend. Let the birdies take your words to the Great Door.

I made this candle, below, to give away to one of you. It's called the "Claim Your Happiness" candle and it's designed to help you say OUT LOUD what will facilitate your happiness so you can claim it. With authority. Like it's been there all along. Because it has. Happiness isn't a privilege; it's your divine right.

The candle is wrapped with a custom happiness oil blend I made that's a mix of vanilla, citrus and honey. It has a citrine inside as well as crushed white sage leaves and rose petals, a little yarrow for releasing negativity and even some mullein for courage. It's a potent candle, and it has been made with love. To enter the drawing, all you must do is comment on this post. Write about what you intend to claim if you win. Start articulating it here and now. The winner will be chosen by magical means. These giveaways always end up in the hands of those who are meant to receive them at this time. The winner will be selected at noon on Tuesday, January 10.

Ready? Set, go. And thanks for stopping by. Many HAPPY blessings to you!

You will remember ...

You will remember that leaping stream where sweet aromas rose and trembled, and sometimes a bird, wearing water and slowness, its winter feathers. You will remember those gifts from the earth: indelible scents, gold clay, weeds in the thicket and crazy roots, magical thorns like swords. You'll remember the bouquet you picked, shadows and silent water, bouquet like a foam-covered stone. That time was like never, and like always. So we go there, where nothing is waiting; we find everything waiting there. - Pablo Neruda

The Rose

For my first Mother's Day in 2007, my mother bought me a rose bush. It was not in bloom and had no name.  When the first bloom came, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of each flower. The petals were pink, orange, and yellow in the center; the scent, strong; and the flowers lasted for weeks on the bush. It has always been strong, beautiful, and enduring. It blooms rain or shine. It's been a model for how I want to be - long-lasting and resilient even in the least favorable conditions.

Part of the reason the flower itself is so meaningful goes all the way back to my Aunt Joyce, who died in 1979 of sclerosis of the liver following a decade-long battle with alcoholism. Her favorite song was The Rose by Bette Midler. And no one in the family can hear the song - even now, more than 30 years later, without bursting into tears. I named my daughter Zoe Rose for three reasons: 1) my grandmother's middle name was Roselle, so it's a partial tribute to her; 2) my mentor's name is Rose and she has shaped my life in myriad ways that are honored by the name; and 3) because of the song, because my Aunt fought as long and as hard as she could, and because there's a warrior spirit in the women on my side that I wanted to codify with a name. Rose. It's strong, sweet, and sharp. With all the women in my family, you have to watch out for the thorns.

So as we prepare to leave San Diego on January 11 ( ONE WEEK from now) I am conflicted about my rose bush. Do I leave it here? Do I try to dig it up and take it with me? And then I realized the medicine in my entire dilemma: It is time to let go. Of it all. Even my rose bush, which has lent me so many blooms and happy moments over the 5 years it's been with me. It wants to stay here and perfume the yard for the next owner, who is a sweet woman. It wants to stay goodbye to me. If only I will listen.

Rose bushes die back in January as a matter of course and have to be pruned down. Today, before I pruned it, I took the final buds off the bush and left the same number of quartz crystals at its base. A small gesture of profound thanks for these final gifts. I took all the petals down and gathered the sage I picked with my family in the local desert yesterday. I prayed and meditated and focused on enjoying this last bundle-wrapping session in San Diego. I shared a picture with my SouLodge sisters on Facebook who have so kindly been helping me with this transition.

And then I got to work. For more than an hour I wrapped, and cried, and laughed, and sat with memories of people and places and things I will miss about this beautiful city. I said goodbye slowly and graciously. Each moment and thought felt like a warm hug as people's energy moved into and out of the space. The time passed in an instant. When I came back to my own consciousness I looked down to see I was wrapping the last piece of sage, the last petals - I used every piece of plant material I had gathered so carefully and attentively. And I must say ... I think these are the most beautiful bundles I've ever wrapped. Some of them are a foot long and several inches in diameter. Here's a glimpse of the first batch.

It was a beautiful morning for me, filled with memories and gratitude and creativity and most of all, intense healing that I send to each of you who read this, too, with much love from my heart to yours.

What lies ahead - 2012

This past year asked me to let go of big things. It felt like moving glaciers with my bare hands. Hard and cold. Enormous and overwhelming. In 2012 I sense that I'll have more help moving the furniture around the living room of my life. I hope my sense is correct. My hands are tired and my eyes have seen too much. My heart has bled itself dry. 

But this year was the gift of consciousness-shaping realizations. One massive realization that almost seems so banal it's not worth mentioning is this: Strange things happen to me that don't happen to other people. Here's a tiny example. All day yesterday, a latin phrase floated around my mind and I couldn't translate it. When I looked it up this morning it means, "the blood has been spilled." Even for me, this was a profound experience. Why didn't the words come to me in English? Why force me to bust out Google Translate to deal with my own thoughts? The Universe plays with me that way. And I'll be honest - I kind of like it.

In 2011 I reconciled that I'm different. I reconciled that I like being different and have no apologies to make for anyone else about how incredibly different I am. In short, I learned to shed - in a finally, once-and-for-all, good-riddance-to-bad-rubbish way - the idea that if I were only a smidge different life would be better or easier or ______. It won't and I can't. Chalk it up to me almost turning 40 maybe. But I'm done trying to be other, more, or else. 

The good news is that I'm facing whatever comes in 2012 with a new sense of freedom from constraint or apology. I'm celebrating that sense of okayness with myself as this month opens. What are you celebrating?

La luna llena & 11.11.11

I adore the moon. I've had an intense fascination with it since I was a child. My spirituality only reinforces my connection to her -  to her phases, to her fullness, to her shadows. The full moon each month is celebrated in my house. For a while I hosted monthly full moon parties that drew upwards of 50 people into my home to celebrate the energy shift that accompanies that one night every month when Luna shines her brightest. Most people have no idea of the impact of the moon on our planet, on tides, on the female body as it relates to menstruation, on a whole host of aspects of our lives, relationships, and energy levels. It's a mystery to many but somehow most of us find ourselves drawn to moon-gaze, even if we don't totally know why.

It's a basic human curiosity that connects us to the stars, the moon, the ocean, these forces and manifestations of nature's great power. I'm known in many circles as the keeper of moon ceremony but truly all I've done is drawn people's attention to this one day every month that's worth noting. Luna beckons us outside to see her brilliant glory. She doesn't hide from us. She isn't shy. She doesn't apologize for being beautiful. She lures us, seduces us, engages us, moves us. Her energy charges up water, gems, candles, whatever we leave outside in her path. We are made of water; she moves it.

She also conjures shadow - those things we're drawn to but can't possess. We can only gaze at her. We can't possess her. We can't control her. We can predict her phases but we can't harness them. We look up to see her in one position and a moment later, she has moved. She represents those deeply divine and feminine qualities that so many women deny and repress - our mysteries, our depths, our light, our connection, our sexuality, our power, our energy. She asks that we acknowledge it all and celebrate it. We find it so hard to do that because if and when we do, we're often judged and shackled. 

So here we stand between a full moon on 11.10.11 and the High Holiday to end high holidays, 11.11.11. An enormous shift is in progress. Can you feel it? Breathe it in. What's in the air is no longer an urge, a request, a whisper to let go; it's an edict. You must let go now or you'll be dragged - dragged through pain, heartache and their evil sisters ~ resentment, anger, frustration. LET GO. Can you do it? Can you let go of Ego, of expectation, of attachment? Of the "way things ought to be"? Of what you "thought you were supposed to do"? Can you just be with what is right now and sing out loud from the depths of your spirit? Can you love with an open heart and allow others to do the same? Can you observe without judgment?

Ahhhhhhh.

It's difficult. But it's time. I feel it in my bones. The shift is tectonic. It's planetary. It's deep. I've personally let go of SO MUCH this year, some things and people and places against my will, but all for my greater good. I've given the Universe a giant Yield sign in my life and wow - that made things happen. The Universe asks that we yield, that we GET OUT OF THE WAY in order for our best to manifest. But 90% of us stand right in the middle of that road yelling "stop!". 

I leave you then with this message at this time, full of love and peace in my heart: All as it's meant to be in perfect time for your highest good. Always.

Namaste at this sacred moment in our lifetimes, not to be replicated before we pass on to the next place. Not to come again in our children's lifetimes. And all transpiring under the light and watchful eye of that Lovely Luna Llena who's beckoning you to come see her. Get outside. Stand in the light. And let go.

Happy Samhain & Halloween

From my princess and me. We hope your holiday was bewitching and full of treats!

Custom sets are coming to my Etsy boutique!

I am so excited to offer all new sets on Etsy of all the healing items I make. I've been blending essential oils and creating a new line of perfumes that are coming soon; for now, I'm offering the blends one by one as part of larger sets that include my handmade beeswax candles, white sage bundles, and a mix of gemstones from my private collection. I'm also teaching a class in December on how to make your own perfume products using essential oils. Everyone who attends will take home three products they hand-create and blend, including hydrosols, bath salts, massage oils, perfume oils, shower gels, and a few other options. So far my favorite perfume blend is neroli (orange blossom) and ginger. It's heavenly. Every time I wear it people stop and ask me about it. It's a very sexy blend too!

The BEST part of all of this is ... I am finding incredible balance and joy between my hectic day job, the demands of family life, and creative work that fuels my soul. It's deeply gratifying and healing, and I really do believe that in every product I create there's just a bit of magic. I am blessed by my growing customer base of people who support my products and offer me the resources I need to keep on creating!